Your Words Hurt My Soul

Every time there is a pro-immigration story published anywhere in the world, the comments that follow are negative, racist, angry, riddled with hate, and directed towards people they've never met. The internet allows these "trolls" as we call them to pull the white hoods out of the closet and sit in front of their computers insulting and damning people left and right. In general, I skip right past the comments and just share the articles. Until yesterday. The New York Daily News published an article yesterday about my friends, women I've met that share my story, my struggle, my heartache, my hopes, and my joys. It was titled American-born wives married to U.S. deported or banned spouses band together via online networks and it has been the best article I've read yet about our story. This time I scrolled down and read the only four comments that had been posted at that time and I was in tears. Why? I don't know why I give these trolls the power to put me in tears with their insults. They talk about how "disgusting" I must be to marry down, how "proud" my parents must be at whom I've married, that women will marry anything, including a ham sandwich... Damn straight, I love my ham sandwich and there is nothing in the world that is going to come between us.

So following the lead of my fabulous friend Emily over at The Real Housewife of Ciudad Juarez, here are the top 25 reasons why I love my ham sandwich.

1. For saving me when I was about to marry a selfish, uneducated, poor mannered white guy who didn't place his children or his woman ahead of anything, once leaving me to sit in the truck in the middle of winter with my daughter for an hour and a half while he attended a meeting because he didn't want to be kept waiting for me to return when he finished.
2. For working two jobs when necessary to pay the bills and never using any type of state assistance.
3. For admitting his faults and working with me year after year so that he can become a better person and a better father to his stepdaughter and our daughter. 
4. For accepting that I don't share the same religious views as he, for loving my crazy-nonbelieving-self even as he kisses his Jesus every night and blesses the family.
5. For being the most awesome cook ever who can whip up a delicious meal out of nowhere.
6. For learning how to be a healthier person by cooking with olive oil, reducing the fat intake, and eating less than 200 tortillas a week. Some day he might even stop putting salt on his fruit too.
7. For loving my less-than-perfect-after-3-children body, for sharing his calor with me even when I'm sitting in tears and holding my tire.
8. For not being machisimo when I earned twice as much money and the car and house were all in my name.
9. For showing me what true love was all about after numerous abusive relationships with the white guys "I should have married", for making me believe that I could be loved for who I was, not what I wasn't.
10. For making ours the best and greenest lawn on the block while the neighbor has to rip hers out and start all over again.
11. For being the best housekeeper I've ever met, for cooking/cleaning/washing the dishes/folding the clothes/fill in the blank and all the other chores that I hate to do.
12. For embracing the gym even though he had never been in one and working out daily to give me that hot hot body that I get to love every night.
13. For calling his mom and his grandma and his sons on a weekly if not daily basis and showing me that he truly knows what it means to place family first.
14. For making the scariest and bravest decision of his life to come here and make a better life for himself.
15. For sharing all of his traditions and culture with me so that we can create a well-balanced family and traditions that enriched our lives and that of those around us.
16. For accepting my mental illness (is PTSD considered mental illness these days or what?) and going to therapy with me every single time even when he is exhausted after work.
17. For encouraging me to do the volunteer things I like and participating in the free English classes that I offer in my home even though he probably needs the most help.
18. For not getting mad at my disaster in the garage even though he's been dying to park the car in there during the cold winter months for the last four years.
19. For trying fancy, new restaurants with me even though he is completely outside of his comfort zone.
20. For allowing me to traipse off all over the world with my wanderlust and never telling me I have to stay home like a good little wife should.
21. For fearing for my safety and sanity when we move to Mexico this fall, for worrying that I won't be happy living a "more basic" lifestyle and giving up everything that we've worked so hard together for.
22. For daring to plan for one month or one year down the road when he's never been allowed to before.
23. For believing that there is a better life ahead of us where we can all be together in love and harmony no matter the zip code or codigo postal.
24. For telling me that he'll work two or three jobs to pay for a tummy tuck if that is what really will make me happy with my body.
25. For completing me, for being my better half, for making me feel alive like never before.

Me hace falta Jose, para ahora y siempre, te amo mucho.

Update: To read other 25 Reasons I Love...

My Ham Sandwich by Sarah B.-M.

Mi Torta de Jamon by Thalia

il mio panino al prosciutto e formaggio by Amy
Lonches La Guera by Rhonda
Teamo Mucho Mi Torta De HAmon by Sue
The World's Best "Sandwich" by Corin
my "turkey on rye" by Beth
My Ham Sandwich by Becca
My Footlong Sub Sandwich by Lisa
My Ham Sandwich by Sarah F

and the numerous others that were posted to our FB group Waiting on a Miracle by those who don't have blogs. You ladies are beautiful, strong, brave, and powerful and you fill me with joy, hope, and laughter on a daily basis!